The Beating of My Heart

All is well. Just sharing some pictures that make me smile. They are beautiful to me in their fierceness and stregnth.

I am incapable of leading with my head instead of my heart. That will mean higher highs and lower lows that at this point in my life seem to have very sharp edges. This is nothing new and it's not likely to change. The only promise I can give you is that I'm unlikely to write about it again. [and there was much rejoicing!! yay! yay!]

-To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.

-Anna Louise Strong

No Wimps, No Whiners

I did it again. I signed up for THIS.

GAH.

Excuse me while I search the innernet for an extra set of lungs. Mine will surely explode on Dec. 13th.

[Race sold out (600+ spots) in about 48 hours]

Apparently foolishness and bragging rights are contagious.

Rambling much?

Hey.

A mere 8 hours south of here, I think I've heard Atlanta is having some sort of drought. Sign me up. It has done NOTHING but piss from the sky and then, for effect, the wind picks up and makes me cuss and shake my fist at the sky. Like a crazy person, I talk to the weather. And also to traffic. But lately, mostly just the weather. The cute little weatherperson from South Dakota that I watch on channel 5 has completely run out of rain jokes. It ain't pretty.

[I really shouldn't complain, at least I'm not bailing out my basement like some folks down here, but seriously, they call it a FLOOD PLAIN for a reason]

But. There is promise of sun this weekend. I will be watching short, noisy people play soccer and softball. I should be playing kickball [yup, in a RAINBOW league::snort::] and while all the games have been rained out or it was high tide in the outfield or some such, we did practice in balmy 34 degree temps and I was sore for a week. And I really don't remember my heart threatening to explode out of my chest while running the bases on the playground many years ago.

I think I'm ready to shed the wet, grey, threadbare blanket of melancholy I've been foolishly dragging around all winter. I thought by now I would have figured out what was making it such a persistant companion but I haven't. Maybe I never will. Just recently, for fleeting moments, I feel it sliding off my shoulders in anticipation of the sun warming the chill out of my bones. It will feel like heaven.

Mom made a spur of the moment visit and much fun is planned in the months ahead. I have many blessings and much to look forward to. I trust that life will unfold as it should.

I hope the signs of spring fill your world with sunshine and HOPE!

...and he likes to dance!

New job? Check [using my brain way more than usual which leaves me short of the brain power needed to add to my blog at the moment. I hope this will change as I get used to it]

Christmas shopping done? Half check. [I'll come back to this]

Training? Check. [Survived the Pere Marquette Trail Run. Didn't fall down, didn't break anything and finished despite mud and freezing rain. A good day! More later]

Sunshine? Big check....exclaimation point. [cautiously optimistic...see below]

Day 16: I Just Wanna Live While I'm Alive

Step away from the hairspray....

I mentioned I'm going to go play in the woods tomorrow. *ahem* It's been a long time since I tested my limits. Tomorrow will be one of those days. Must remember health insurance card.

This is the first song on my iPod. Go loud or go home.



Like Kristen says...I'm gonna eat those hills for breakfast...

"Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down"

My anthem. For tomorrow anyway.

Did you do your scary thing?

Day 12: Guest Blogger Saves the Day!!

Thanks DS for sending this...I no doubt would have boohoo'd at the sight of this.

Note: If you have ever been to a movie theater on a US military base, the National Anthem is played before the movie.

I recently attended a showing of "Superman 3" here at LSA Anaconda. We have a large auditorium we use for movies as well as memorial services and other large gatherings. As is the custom back in the States, we stood and snapped to attention when the National Anthem began before the main feature. All was going as planned until about three-quarters of the way through the National Anthem the music stopped.

"Now, what would happen if this occurred with 1,000 18-22 year-olds back in the States? I imagine there would be hoots, catcalls, laughter, a few rude comments, and everyone would sit down and call for a movie. Of course, that is, if they had stood for the National Anthem in the first place.

"Here, the 1,000 Soldiers continued to stand at attention, eyes fixed forward. The music started again. The Soldiers continued to quietly stand at attention. And again, at the same point, the music stopped. What would you expect to happen? Even here I would imagine laughter as everyone sat down and expected the movie to start.

"Here, you could have heard a pin drop. Every Soldier stood at attention. "Suddenly there was a lone voice, then a dozen, and quickly the room was filled with the voices of a thousand Soldiers. 'And the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. O say does that star- spangled banner yet wave, o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.'

It was the most inspiring moment I have had here in Iraq; I wanted you to know what kind of Soldiers are serving you here."


Secret revealed tomorrow! My big news! No more waiting!

Day 6: Saved from blathering nonsense by a scheduled blogger outage!

Because I have NOTHING to add. Well, of course I do. I'm just so exhausted that it's hard to breathe.

My sister-friend JJ summed it up perfectly for us...

She remarks, "You are good birth control."

Indeed, I believe I probably am. My warm fuzzies have all dried up and flown away today. My patience has taken leave.

The good news is, it can be fixed with a good sleep. And when my boy smiles at me. Two things that are overdue.

So until I recharge, go check out JJ's thoughts. She's way too damn far away. Korea should really be in Iowa.

KOREA LAUGHS

Still Takes My Breath Away

Took this picture from my bike last night. It's October, but the weather is more like June. And just like I experienced at the end of the season last year, this is the ride that will carry me through those dark, cold winter months.

As a pedaled last night I thought about the long overdue update I've got started. But I was also thinking about how so many of my friends have been diagnosed with cancer this year. Maybe it's my age. Bodies start to show signs of wear and tear. And mostly I'm okay with that, because at this age all the wrinkles and weirdness that has been going on with my skin and bones is somewhat amusing and I've earned it. When I am old, I want to have used up my body and have some great stories to go along with it. So I can tell my audiologist all about it when she's got a waiting room full of patients to see before she can go to lunch. But I digress.

But I'm not okay with the fact that with every one of my friends and acquaintences who get the shocking diagnosis, there will be suffering. Hopefully it's fleeting. It's hard not to know what to do. But I read one plus two: brother can you spare a dime and realized it doesn't really matter what I do when someone is hurting, as long as I respond.

Postcards from the Edge

Hey out there. I’m still around. According to the little counter I have down there, there are still people who think to check in and see what I’m up to. And to me, that means a lot. So, thank you. I have been thinking....and you know what that means. Eventually the mess in my head makes it’s way out through my fingertips. It always seems that the more I move my flesh and bone, the clearer things become upstairs. So as I move more, but not necessarily faster, the words begin to take shape.
I’m thinkin the next one should be a doozy.