Wednesday, February 28, 2007

We are tied to the ocean. -John F. Kennedy

All of us have in our veins the exact same percentage of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, and, therefore, we have salt in our blood, in our sweat, in our tears. We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea -- whether it is to sail or to watch it -- we are going back from whence we came.

More naval gazing….

I’m still processing my long anticipated trip to Cabo San Lucas, Baja California, Mexico. It was a return trip for me to the exact resort I had the privilege of staying at 5 years ago. I was also beyond excited to be able to share 5 basically uninterrupted days with Paula, whom I admire so much for her honest heart and unwavering friendship. Spending this time was such a gift; an effortless balance.

There were so many highlights; a flight attendant started my trip with a confetti party (we were still picking shredded napkin out of my hair in customs), dinner on the beach, pool time, Chilean Chardonney, Estoban our most attentive server, coca-cola light, the mission, Cabo Wabo and a bald guitar player, Mr. Kelly who finally told an annoying drunk to f**k off (and all I could think of was his lovely wife trying to bail him out of a Mexican jail!!!), missing the 1:30am (!!!!) bus, excellent food, even better company especially Corky and Gail, Melissa and Trip, Kelly and Ann, Dan and Vicki and of course Kevin who treated us like royalty. (Well, we strutted around like we owned the place so…duh.)

Towards the end of the trip we were chatting and I noticed that we had slightly different intentions going into the trip…Paula’s was to be more outgoing and step slightly outside her comfort level and mine was to look a little inward and reign in my usual tendency to connect with new people in an effort to do some letting go and be open to how the next chapter in my life is going to unfold. We certainly met and enjoyed spending time with some amazing people but we also balanced it with lots of quiet time…a rare opportunity to be still. I wasn’t quite sure what would bubble up to the surface during those quiet times, being so removed from my daily responsibilities which are a pretty effective distraction.

I am happy to say that the water and ocean breezes worked their magic. The heat of the sun on my skin loosened my tightly held muscles that for so long have been bracing against anger and disappointment. The beauty of the ocean with all its sounds and smells and colors never fails to calm me and on that last morning after a quick ocean swim, I sat very still after climbing all the way out to the rocks that lead out into the sea. I let the sun and wind dry the salt water on my skin and the breezes slowly dried my hair in a tangle down my back. I sat and I breathed and listened the roar of the waves and the wind. And I waited, thousands of miles from people who know me, to feel that familiar uneasiness that’s been a fairly constant companion providing excuses to feel lonely or sad. Instead, I felt calm and my hesitant, overworked mind was blessedly open and quiet. Clarity.

I have some fabulous photos so watch for the photo essay soon!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Hola Amigos!

Guess what? If you open your blogger account in Mexico....all the commands and tabs are in Spanish!!!

Speaking of Mexico....I've spent the last 6 days in paradise. I'm catching a shuttle in a few short minutes...more later but I just wanted to check in!
Senorita E

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Music that gentlier on the spirit lies, Than tired eyelids upon tired eyes. -Alfred Lord Tennyson

I realize I’m probably barking up the wrong tree by saying winter in Missouri sucks but I’m complaining anyway. Particularly this winter. It is frozen solid. What’s next? Plagues? Locusts? And I curse every one of you morons out there today with your BALD tires. Oh, and if you’re going to hit me…don’t just threaten to slide into me….hit me hard enough to total the van please! GAH!

Yes, I realize it’s Valentine’s Day. Don’t even go there.

*Sigh.* I do have some warm fuzzies I want to add to my little diary. So twenty years from now I might remember some of the wonderfulness of my two favorite cupids. Some of my best time with my girls is the quiet time after the homework and piano practice and baths and teeth-brushing and lunch-making and last minute drink-getting, blankie-finding, jumping-on bed chaos that defines our busy evenings. Lately, my chance to share that time with them has been almost cut in half. So even on the days when I just don’t have anything left I make sure I dig deep and find it. And it paid off the other night and I don’t want to forget.

Once the lights are out and the girls are all cozied up in their beds I spend a few minutes with each little one tickling their back or playing with their hair and just giving them a few minutes to tell me what’s on their mind. (And I’m a little embarrassed to say that a lot of the time it’s that I have diet coke breath!) Ever since they were babies I’ve always played music for them at bedtime and naptimes. When they were tiny it was several different genres of lullabies but now that they’re older, believe it or not, it’s Delilah (and her love songs…. “Love someone toniiiiight”) playing in the background. And being a band geek, I try to point out the different instruments I hear within the music when were having a rare quiet moment.

Over the last few weeks they’ve been sharing a room so it’s been more of a group conversation. My oldest is quiet and still once she’s settled and this night I said goodnight to her first as she went through her usual routine of burying herself under the blanket and comforter and covering her head with just her face peeking out.

I assumed she had already fallen asleep.

Kate is the opposite and fidgets and talks to herself and kicks all her covers off before she even goes to sleep. So I was getting her settled and no one had said anything for a few minutes and I was dozing and listening to the music (I wish now I could remember which song was playing) and very quietly I hear Morgan whisper from the darkness,

“Mommy, do you hear the piano?”

That’s my girl.

Friday, February 09, 2007

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. -Stephen King

Cow Intestine Popsicles = GROSS! Good Lord, all I did while messing with my mP3 player was fall off a treadmill and make a lot of noise!

40 tons of cow intestines closes I-43

A truck driver distracted by a digital music player overturned his semitrailer early this morning on Interstate 43, spilling nearly 40 tons of cow intestines and bones and, according to Sgt. Blaine Spicer of the Sheboygan County Sheriff’s Department.

The driver, Ryan Engle, 25, of Kenosha, was northbound on I-43 about 2:15 a.m. near Orchard Road in the Town of Mosel when the truck veered off the right side of the road as he adjusted an MP3 player, Spicer said. According to the sheriff’s department:Engle entered the shoulder and was unable to regain control as the load shifted and the truck fell onto its right side in the east ditch. About 76,000 pounds of beef byproduct spilled into the ditch and onto the freeway. The right lane of northbound I-43 was closed for two hours as crews cleaned up. Engle, who was cited for inattentive driving, was taken by Orange Cross Ambulance to St. Nicholas Hospital with non-life threatening injuries. Responding to the scene was the sheriff’s department, Wisconsin State Patrol, Howards Grove First Responders and Sheboygan County Highway Department. The semi, which had to be towed from the scene, is owned by Kenosha-based Birchwood Transport. - from HTR without permission. Sue me.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

It's Time...

After grumbling and cussing and shivering and itching my way through the last two weeks of freezing weather cold enough to make me LOSE MY RELIGION I think it's time for a top 10 list...

1. The SFPFH is finally done. (science fair project from hell...otherwise known as a public school's method for reducing the currently overloaded classrooms by resorting to provoking parents into making good on their threats of not allowing their third graders food or water UNTIL THE DAMN THING IS FINISHED knowing full well that 3rd graders are STUBBORN and don't understand the scientific method anyway so they will stage a hunger strike therefore significantly reducing enrollment in said public school.) Don't ask me how I know this.

2. My writing idol Jen has announced a THIRD book is going to be released!!! Look! ----->"BITTER IS THE NEW BLACK and BRIGHT LIGHTS, BIG ASS author Jen Lancaster's third book, PRETTY FAT: One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big; Or, Why Pie Is Not the Answer, the story of the heretofore-unabashedly-plus-sized Jen's quest to lose fifty pounds in six months by any means possible, to Kara Cesare at NAL, for six figures, by Kate Garrick at DeFiore and Company"... from


4. I haven't fallen off the treadmill yet today. (Yes, I fell off again last night but did not bite it this time...I managed to stay on my feet and landed in the 12 inches between the deck and the wall. Ta-daaa!

5. My new little space heater

6. The fact that I fit (barely) in my summer clothes so I don't have to go shopping for my trip.

7. Funny email that made me laugh out loud this morning (thanks mom)

8. The fantastic, funny, world-traveling author of one of my favorite blogs actually checked out my blog! Check out OMG! Very cool. But my excitement is tempered with a little sadness because her grandfather just passed away. My lantern is lit.

9. Antibiotics for little people that taste good. (Kate's sick) Paula, can I get an Amen?! ;)

10. Forgiveness

Your turn!!!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Getting down with my bad self...


Last night, while talking to myself about 6 minutes into a 20 minute run at over 6mph on the treadmill, and being very self-congratulatory because this was after I spent 30 minutes spinning on my bike (while watching a fascinating (really!) documentary about the photographer Sally Mann)... I FELL OFF. LOUDLY. Actually, I fell DOWN after catching the non-moving edge of the treadmill which stopped my right foot cold; I continued the stride with my left foot which caused me to do an incredibly rapid and effective faceplant on the belt and be immediately spit out the back of the machine onto the floor on my knees. Graceful I am...and a little sore.

So I’m taking donations for this stuff should I decide to mess with my iPod while on the narrow treadmill again....