The Beating of My Heart

All is well. Just sharing some pictures that make me smile. They are beautiful to me in their fierceness and stregnth.

I am incapable of leading with my head instead of my heart. That will mean higher highs and lower lows that at this point in my life seem to have very sharp edges. This is nothing new and it's not likely to change. The only promise I can give you is that I'm unlikely to write about it again. [and there was much rejoicing!! yay! yay!]

-To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.

-Anna Louise Strong

...and he likes to dance!

New job? Check [using my brain way more than usual which leaves me short of the brain power needed to add to my blog at the moment. I hope this will change as I get used to it]

Christmas shopping done? Half check. [I'll come back to this]

Training? Check. [Survived the Pere Marquette Trail Run. Didn't fall down, didn't break anything and finished despite mud and freezing rain. A good day! More later]

Sunshine? Big check....exclaimation point. [cautiously optimistic...see below]

Day 21: I heart quotes.

Go ahead.

Read between the lines.


W. H. Auden
In those whom I like, I can find no common denominator; in those whom I love I can: they all make me laugh.

Emmanuel
There are no guarantees. From the viewpoint of fear, none are strong enough. From the viewpoint of love, none are necessary.

Albert Schweitzer
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

And this sounds to me like a great Thanksgiving blessing:

May you not become too concerned with material matters, but instead place immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart. Find time each day to see beauty and love in the world around you. Realize that each person has limitless abilities, but each of us is different in our own way. What you feel you lack in the present may become one of your strengths in the future. May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility. Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience. May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself, and not be dependent on another's judgment of your accomplishments. May you always feel loved.

Day 6: Saved from blathering nonsense by a scheduled blogger outage!

Because I have NOTHING to add. Well, of course I do. I'm just so exhausted that it's hard to breathe.

My sister-friend JJ summed it up perfectly for us...

She remarks, "You are good birth control."

Indeed, I believe I probably am. My warm fuzzies have all dried up and flown away today. My patience has taken leave.

The good news is, it can be fixed with a good sleep. And when my boy smiles at me. Two things that are overdue.

So until I recharge, go check out JJ's thoughts. She's way too damn far away. Korea should really be in Iowa.

KOREA LAUGHS

Bike Love

Next on my topic list is what I called “Bike Love, of a different sort.”

In an old post, the one about MeMeMe (stop it, I know they’re all about me. I am kind of a big deal) I listed motorcycles as being something I feared. That was left over from another time and another chapter but was a knee-jerk reaction just the same.

Then I met an amazing someone who made me feel safe, on the back of a bike, and I realized it wasn’t the machine I was afraid of. It was the giving up control and trusting the person driving to help me feel comfortable and safe and not forgetting that I was on the back, holding on.

And it hit me; "IT", the bike, is a metaphor for a relationship, if I’ve ever heard one.

I am no expert in that department. But the things I’ve learned and what my heart tells me are important to a successful partnership are very similar to what I’ve been given glimpses of while on the bike with the boy I call My Favorite:

It should be fun. Like playing in the sunshine, wind in my hair, grinning with bugs in my teeth, fun.

The destination should not be important. But the time it takes to get there should always seem just a little too short.

It should be comfortable for a long ride and feel solid underneath when the trip is longer or harder than first planned.

It should be ridden, and not left to get dusty in the garage. I feel a “take your breath away” kind of freedom that must be the secret that all those Harley riders keep in their pockets. I get it now. If it’s something that makes me happy, I will find a way to make time for it.

That it is necessary to ride solo sometimes. There is a lightness that comes with an unscheduled ride and when the bike allows an escape, away from stress and life, it should feel good to return home and know you’ve been missed.

And when riding on the back, I should feel safe. It’s a vulnerable position to be in, to be sure. Believing that it's okay to let go and completely trust someone who won’t forget I’m back there. To be wanted there.

Because that's me... with the helmet hair, grinning like mad but still a little scared sometimes.


I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart.
-Alice Walker
US novelist (1944 - )