"You always have a choice and the choice can be power."- Blaine Lee

Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can't prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you're presented with and moving on. No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something. You always have a choice and the choice can be power.
-Blaine Lee, The Power Principle

I'm not quite sure what's going on with me...but my efforts lately to "live an examined life" have lead me to believe I can and should live more simply. I think for me it means "less stuff". I fell into the trap of thinking that if I'm successful and happy my life should "look" a certain way. Mission accomplished....my life "looks" pretty darn good. But for awhile now it doesn't feel right. So, I am trying to be present in every moment and be mindful of the differences between my wants and needs. Naturally, my new thinking has been met with some suspicion and my children have been bearing the brunt of my new philosophy. "What?! Only one activity per weekend? What do you mean get a smaller car without a DVD player!? Make a birthday list for all the extra stuff?!" The horrors of delaying gratification. The good thing I've discovered for me is that so far, I'm able to meet my needs (food, shelter, clothing, transportation) without too much trouble. And after that...my wants are really only to have more time to DO what makes me happy. Thankfully, spending time with my girls are one of the things that makes me really happy. Spending time with friends and training are the other two things that keep me balanced. So basically what I've discovered is that what I thought were material needs....are actually choices. And in realizing that....it frees up alot of time and effort to make experiences that count. and even better....in realizing that the sky won't fall if my wants don't get met....I can control how much BS I am willing to tolerate. If anyone's reading...you're probably thinking "DUH" but I was definitely caught up the the "keeping up with the Jones's" mentality of my suburban existance. So, that's where I'm at today. And don't think I took the $3000 Trek Equinox tri bike off my list. Girl's gotta dream.

So, training. Log: Friday, 4.5 mile run (hot). Sunday: 27+ mile bike with small group.(hotter) Tuesday: 4.5 mile run (sauna)
I have overcome my motivational block on the bike. I shook myself pretty badly two weeks ago but I guess it was just a bad ride. Jeff was kind enough to include me again and we all had a pretty good day. I was more than able to keep up with the boys. Better yet, I enjoyed myself and was ready for more.

I had planned on riding again Tuesday and got all ready but got out to my bike and had a flat back tire???!!! I was on alittle time crunch but I thought it would be good practice to see how fast I could do it. So I get started on that while sweat is pouring down my face standing in the garage. Did I mention it was hot yesterday? All the while being peppered with questions from all the neighborhood kids. "What are you doing? Are you going for a bike ride? Where are you going? Is it broke? Why did you do that?" AAGgghhhh! My biking getup usually brings an audience but I think it's just so rare for any grown ups in our neighborhood to do anything recreational (unless you call injecting your various body parts with silicone and/or cutting your lawn a sport) that they don't know quite what to do with me. Everything is fine until I try to put a little air in the tube. Replacement tube is 1/4 inch too SMALL! So after a few more questions from the gang I asked my standard "I'm done answering questions" questions. Is anyone bleeding? (not right now says the gang) Is anything on fire? (not right now says the gang)...then GO PLAY I say!!!!
So I leave my dismantled bike leaning up against the trash can (metaphor?) and change my shoes and remove my jersey Brandi Chastain style. I'm mad, now I'm running and I don't care who sees my big ole belly jiggling...it's just too damn hot.

Behold the sports bra.....a powerful choice.

Oh, and I took the citizen test and unfortunately I would be denied.