Hurry Up And Wait...

Lacking all enthusiasm for this little project lately, I'm going to have to resort to stuff that makes me snort and spit diet coke up my nose and all over my keyboard... and a training log.

This tickled the "WTF?" part of my sometimes too literal brain for a whole bunch of reasons.


100% cotton American Apparel brand women's tee



Front: "I Wish Somebody Would Do Something About How Fat I Am"

Color: Cranberry



American Apparel brand tees tend to run small. Consider ordering up a size.

From The Onion Store

Umm, hello? I'm all about passing the buck on my extra layer of insulation. It is absolutely someone elses fault. Specifically the girl scout cookie people and the "let's put a McDonalds on every corner and add a dollar menu for the over-stressed, over-booked broke people" people.

HOWEVER, do we really need to add insult to injury by using t-shirts that run SMALL and that are 100% cotton (hello! shrinkage!) And those adorable little fitted cap sleeves? Puh-lease. If I were to sport this t-shirt there would be no cute little "oh the irony" smirk from someone reading my chest. Unless maybe there was the word "LITERALLY" written underneath the design. Anyone else dying to know how many XXL versions of this they sold?

Ok, so that was fun. Obviously I was serious when I said I really didn't have anything.

Training....yes, I have been. Running. Much more than usual. Ack. My mantra has become, "Sucks now - Stronger later".
Racing schedule looks to be:
University City Memorial Day 10K
Rec-Plex Tri June 17th
Octomax (maybe, just maybe!!! Quartermax) July 22
Alligator Creek Tri August 19th
Lake St. Louis Sept. 2?

So, yeah. That's one a month.

Global Warming?

Has anyone noticed how schizophrenic Mother Nature is lately? I’m really trying to get back into the training these last few weeks and have been doing pretty well. Last week I ran in almost 80 degree temps, with lots of humidity in shorts and a tank top. Three days later I ran with huge snowflakes blowing DIRECTLY INTO MY EYEBALLS for an hour. Less than 48 hours later I ran again in shorts and a t-shirt. I’m starting to think Al Gore may have a point.

Tomorrow, the girls and I are road-tripping to the Motherland. We are voluntarily leaving a place where it’s supposed to be 70 degrees and the club is organizing bike rides, and instead spending 8 hours in cramped and messy van to prolong our winter as long as humanly possible. Why? Because there’s important people to see up there and although the stubborn Winter is reluctant to give in to a tentative Spring, we will bask in the warmth of family and friends. And I am grateful.

The breakdown...475 miles + 8ish hours =

*Many potty stops and much eyerolling for mommy’s walnut sized bladder exacerbated by fountain diet coke
*4 movies on the DVD player (my children have been driven to various edges of the east coast and to the top of the continental divide without ever once looking out the windows)
*4 million crayons in the seat grooves in the bottom of the van (is it really so hard to put them back in the box!?)
*2 Happy Meals and two cans of Pringles (no matter how bad sour cream and onion chips reek) but NO chocolate (makes the little people very……um……disagreeable)
*Most of an audio book on my iPod when turning up the movie/opening the windows doesn’t drown out the inevitable whining (Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella……ironic, yes?)
*1000 times "what?!" because Kate starts everything that comes out of her mouth with "Mommy……" and waits for me to say ""what?"" NO MATTER WHAT I’M DOING and THE CHILD NEVER RUNS OUT OF THINGS TO SAY.
*100 times Kate will try to get the truck drivers to sound their horns when she pumps her fist in the air (I know. Just be glad she doesn’t realize how easy it is to get them to do that after puberty)

Time with family and friends?

PRICELESS!!

In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary. -Aaron Rose

Because I said I would:

Cue Jimmy Buffett

Link-a-licious...With Due Respect

Life is Funny. With a capital F.

I fear that if my DSL connection ever gets yanked I might have to go to rehab.

I got to thinking, when I grow up I want to be her or her, and if she can build her retirement home in his nostrils than I want to build mine in hers. And then if I get fired I hope to have her attitude and that her mom will let me sell Avon products to the world. And until I do grow up, I am so stalking her, the real reason I was tempted to throw my hat in this silly blogging circus. (Book tour! This summer! Chicago!)

What or who (whom? grammer police, a little help here) did you want to be when you grew up? (Hello...is this thing on? Where y'all been?)

So, spring is teasing us a little here in MO. You know what that means! Time to get back on the bike! Which I did on Saturday. Kept the rubber side down. Made an interesting observation that the wind CAN indeed blow from all directions at once creating a significant headwind no matter which direction the handlebars are pointing. But boy did that wind and ride do wonders for clearing out the cobwebs of a very long winter.

(Edited from original post 3/23/07)

Laughter is the rock under my feet.

It's a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand. -Madeleine Ll’Engle

Seriously, do not watch this with a full bladder... I almost peed my pants.

This looks suspiciously like my post from 2/1/07 put to annimation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4MgoTFkSdc

Enjoy that...and if you want some more funny check out THIS .